My Mac is Back

YEEEEEEE!!!!!
After a long period without him i've again my love:D
My mac works again, it has a problem with wireless.....
i'm so happyyyyy!!!!

Somethimes is so difficult.. i say something ad the others don't understand what i mean, or i act in a particular way and someone don't understand again what i mean or what i feel!! It's my fault or not? is something i need to work on.... i want people understand what i've inside but the problem is that when it happen ususally i'm to busy or to concentrated on other stuffs and i let things going on.

Also in that case.. probably i should have been more sincere, but sincere is not the right world, i mean transparent and not paranoic..but obviously i didn't do it!!!!

I can't understad why i always need to be strong, i'm not so strong, i have feelings, and i don't need nothing so special, i'm not pretending anything, i'm adaptable but maybe i'm not able to chose. maybe that's my problem. I made wrong choices and i'm afraid i'll do it again and again and i'll be sad and unsatisfied. I always wish that something will change, that something wll be as i want, but that something is not under my influence, i can't control it..... is not a problem of being lucky or not, it's just a matter of want we want for ourself..... what i want? i needto think about it

MY MC TEAM

Strange and difficoult period for me!
A lot of thoughts a lot og choices that i've to take soon, a lot of things to do and i'm not concentrated. I want to be calm, serene, to take time for me and think about everything drinking a cup of the. I want a day dedicated to all of this mental stuffs that makes me feel antious and confused. I need peace, and i need around me people that bring me this feeling and not nervours one!I want to be able to solve problems, little and big problems by myself. I don't want to ask for help to people i don't like. I want i blond girl starts to have a personality, i want....i want a hug, i want not fell warm. I wish i am a little cat, i wish evryone likes me and say me i'm so cute, i wish i am every day as i like to be.....

I think ive almost everything i want.... working on what i miss

Evening at SICILIANO with titty and Ioletta:) it was relaxing, really, talking about random things, AIESEC, love, university and drinking wine :) I needed i night like that, and i'm like to have friends like them.

so many changes in this months, so many in the last days....what can i say, i'm getting used to this life, to this way of living. Every day happen something new, and i need to run faster and faster to reach everything i need, somethimes cutting useless habits.
Reading, i'm trying to read everyday a book, before sleeping or in the brack between different activities.
In this moment i'm reading "I love shopping" an easy reading book, but i need it to get again used to read, to empty my brain from seriuos thoughts and smile about that stupid adbentures of becky:p
EBC was cool, but coming back home wasn't so cool, i'm so lazy here, i always want to sleep maybe to run away from all the things i need to do until i leave again for pavia, ancona and milan, and then catania an at the and exam again!!! This will be a crazy period and in the end i'll be realy tired but i hope satisfyed. I would like to go to venice, sit alone on a bridge, and look to the laguna, that place is so inspiring, and i need inspiration right now. I need to find something that is realy mine and with wich i feel committed, a project, a plan for my future, everything is changing and the things i was sure of now are not. Where I'll be next year? what i really want to do? what is my long term plan? for my life, i need to find it as soon as possible, i need to start building my future now, not to lose opportunity or make wrong choice: but for doing this i need to.....who knows?? maybe just sit and think, understand what i like, what are my strenght and weeknesses and what kind of experience i need to change what i don't like of me!! I need to find time to do it, soon, really soon because time is running and i can't miss the train......

Finally I'm at home...bu....what is home???
This days has been so full of things to do that 4 months passed so fast....as we said we have still8 months untile "take the door and come back home" and i'm sure that this months will be the best of ever!!!! Until now there's nothing i regret and i'm learning from what goes wrong, i'm growing, i feel this everyday, I'm learning to say no and to be more concrete, to use the days at maximum level( but i still need to improve this aspect). It's so strange to be again in my room, alone, without my teammates, Masha,Ana, Fede, Dani,Pimpy,Marty,Alba, Ire, Davide,Cardi. I've a great team, and i'm so proud to be part of it:) We had a great EBC in Lignano, It was stressing somethimes, and we slept few hours every night, but my room was cool :p Now I'm home but just for few days: This crazy Xp as Part Time of Aiesec in italy is helping me a lot to getting to know how i am, how i react in different situations, how i manage problems and stressing moments.... is so cool , it's something i couldn't imagine some months ago.
An example, a months ago my Mac brokes down and i was so disappointed, but in the end i manage this problem without getting stressed....yes now i still don't have a pc and i've to wrk with the one of my mum, and until now is not such a big problem but for sure it will be when i will have to gor for tutoring and coaching visit, but i'll found a way to manage it :)
Positive thinkink matters!!!